I’ve been rolling my eyes at the term ‘limiting beliefs’ since it was mentioned a few too many times in a few too many self-help books over the years. But guess what I’ve just come to know deep in my bones as the God’s honest truth? Limiting beliefs are a real thing (insert emoji that looks annoyed down to the right).
I’ve been dabbling in the world of personal development for a very long time. And many approaches have changed in my life for the better. But as all good personal development junkies know, I’m always going to be growing, learning and improving on this path. I’ll never be done. Ever. It’s about the jour… and all that.
I’ve been doing this thing called The Miracle Morning for the past 8 days. I’m actually doing the 30 Day Life Transformation Challenge which I will report back on later. And don’t worry it wasn’t a New Years Resolution, I started it on December 27th so I think I have a chance of actually sticking to it.
I’m saying some affirmations every morning as part of it. Affirmations have always seemed kinda cheesy to me. Tony Robbins talks about them a lot and I feel kinda ‘meh’ towards Tony Robbins because, let’s be honest, he seems crazy. He does kinda know what he’s talking about when it comes to changing your physiology and reprogramming your beliefs though. Plus he’s filthy rich and seems pretty happy. He can’t be doing it all wrong. He like, lives in Fiji or something.
Back to my point. Who runs the world? Sorry Beyonce, but our limiting beliefs run the world.
All the shit we directly or indirectly absorb as we go through life affects our belief system. We absorb the ideas swirling around us, mostly from other people like our families, and what they believe is true often times, by default, becomes what we believe is true as well.
We’re never taught to program a set of beliefs that we really resonate with. We simply absorb the beliefs of our society, culture and family.
Just look at the Victoria’s Secret bullshit. That doesn’t actually have to be what we think of as the perfect body. It’s just what we’ve collectively absorbed as the truth, right? Some people are trying to change it though, and if the image on top is repeated to us enough, we will start to believe it. Wouldn’t that be fantastic? That’s what affirmations will do to our limiting beliefs.
What I’ve learned…well, what I’ve always known deep down and just happened to remember over the past 8 days, is that I really believe all this personal development business.
It’s why I was a good athlete. I had some great coaches and I listened to them. I worked diligently at practice every day, I learned new techniques, I learned to I believe in myself and what I was capabale of, in my ability to improve, in visualizing the outcomes I wanted and in the power of positive thinking. I lead teams to believe in themselves as well. I helped us change our physiology as we ‘got pscyhed’ and I made some really great stuff happen. It was incredible.
I had some of the best experiences of my life during that time and it boiled down to the same set of beliefs and actions that can be transfered to my life now, except they didn’t all transfer off the field now did they? No. They did not. That’s why I’m writing this post.
I’ve realized this holiday season by spending lots of time with my friends and family, that I have unconsciously absorbed a lot of limiting beliefs from the people around me. Not that any of their beliefs are wrong, they’re just wrong for me. They are wrong for what I want. They are limiting me.
I’ve realized that I have been accepting certain things as truth that I just don’t believe anymore. So now I have to consciously work on them every day in order to create a new set of beliefs I actually want to believe in.
Does that make sense?
I have to create a belief system that will support me in making the life I really want happen.
I know this feels like I’m rambling but, we can all do this. We all have limiting beliefs of some sort and regardless of who you are, what your happiness level is, how much abundance and success you have in life, I suspect that you’re going to want more. More growth, more fulfillment, more happiness and to improve your character and your life in some way. It’s what we all crave deep down. It’s the hierarchy of needs. We want what’s next.
I think many of us are unhappy or just feeling ‘meh’ about life because we’re not growing, we’re not reaching our potential, we’re not getting everything out of life that we really want. Right? That’s why we’re all fat and on lots of pills? No offense, I mean as a society.
So here is how we do it.
1. We identify our limiting beliefs.
2. We acknowledge their falsity.
3. We create an affirmation to repeat in order to reprogram new beliefs into our heads.
Here are mine. (And please don’t judge me. I already feel like I’m riding the bus to school naked as I imagine other humans beings actually reading this).
Limiting Belief #1
The people who are successful in supporting themselves with their own businesses, the ones who’ve ‘figured it out’ are few and far between, the outliers, the exceptions to the rule.
Acknowledgement of falsity
This is bullshit. If they really are exceptions, it’s only because they have exceptional beliefs and chose to do something different than most people do. I am fully capable of creating the exact life that I want for myself. Successful people who have ‘figured it out’ don’t have anything that I don’t have in terms of intelligence, circumstances or luck. In fact, many of those who have, have done so coming from way less in terms of freedom and resources. These people, who’s success I strive to emulate, are simply shining, inspiring evidence that it’s possible. Their success is proof that mine is possible too.
I can create any life that I want.
Limiting Belief #2
Having a job is stable and safe.
Acknowledgment of falsity
This is also bullshit. All of the places I have worked and most of the places I’ve heard of other people working are not stable and they are not safe. Not to mention, the return on investment of time, energy and stress is very, very, very low. Most companies don’t
give a actually care about their employees. So, having one or two streams of household income that are 100% out of our control is not stable or safe. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with working for someone else. Obviously it has been working for many people for many years. I’m just saying that if you really think about it, having a job as your only source of income really isn’t that safe and working for a company that doesn’t care about you and who has 100% control over whether you get paid or not every month, isn’t that stable. I don’t believe that anymore.
It is safer and more stable to create my own multiple streams of income.
Limiting Belief #3
I’m not good enough.
Acknowledgment of falsity
There, I said it. I think this all the time. I’m sure if we are really honest with ourselves a lot of us feel that way sometimes, right? Amiright? Maybe I’m not smart enough? Maybe I don’t actually eat healthy enough? Maybe my writing isn’t all that good? Maybe I am just not good enough, skinny enough, strong enough, savvy enough, wise enough and maybe I don’t have the work ethic it will take?
Also bullshit. This is not serving me at all because honestly, what is ‘enough’ being compared to? Skinny enough for what? Strong enough for what? Savvy enough for what?
I am enough.
These goddamn limiting beliefs are everywhere!
We don’t realize how much they are holding us back.
Until this past week, I’ve been too cool to face the facts that I have to physically work on them every day if I want them to change. I’ve been too embarrassed to look myself in the face and tell myself I am good enough, to tell myself that having a job is not the safest road, to tell myself that I can do and have whatever I want.
They’re all true, you know? All of those cliches: “whether you think you can or you can’t you’re right”, “thoughts become things”, “think positively”, “ask and ye shall receive”, all of that shit. It’s real.
It’s real and the only way to make these cheesy cliches my actual beliefs, unfortunately, is to think them and say them over and over again like the little self-help engine that could.
I have to reprogram myself to believe in them. And I say “I have to” because honestly, I look around me and I know that I don’t want the reality of the people who gave me my own set of limiting beliefs. I want something different for my life. I want more joy, adventure, abundance, challenge, excitement and enthusiasm than I’ve seen them experience.
I want more so, I have to believe more. Crazy how that works.