Minimalist Monday: The Origin of Valentine’s Day – A Rant by Bridget & Dana

Optimized-Valentine's Day

So Valentine’s Day is still a thing, huh?

Dana: I mean, it’s clearly just a holiday invented by the powers-to-be to encourage us to spend money during a time of the year that we wouldn’t normally spend money.

The History Channel says “History doesn’t give us any guarantees as to the origins of Valentine’s day. But we do know it contains vestiges with the early Christian Church in Ancient Rome.” Sounds like some bullshit to me. And it’s also kinda, I don’t know, sexist, or something. Can I say that?

Bridget: You can say that. Oh and for the record, there’s an official term to describe the bullshit. Wikipedia defines a Hallmark Holiday as “A term used predominantly in the United States to describe a holiday that is perceived to exist primarily for commercial purposes, rather than to commemorate a traditionally or historically significant event.”

Dana: I didn’t care about it when I was single and I don’t care about it now. But, when I was single I could feel this sort of “Aw, too bad” sentiment coming from people around me at Valentine’s day. But guys never get that, do they? Nobody ever feels bad for a dude who’s single on Valentine’s day. Who doesn’t get flowers at their office when everyone else does.

The whole thing is bullshit.

I did think it was nice that my brother used to get me flowers though, so I wouldn’t feel left out when he got them for his wife (we were all roommates). But then again, my brother is the best male human on earth and that has nothing to do with Valentine’s day.

Bridget: A few years ago, my mom confessed how annoying it was to have to buy and hand address one million Disney-themed Valentine’s Day cards for me and my brother to pass out at school when we were younger. Remember that?

Dana: Oh yeah. Even nowadays, all the crap grown adults buy each other on Valentine’s day is fake, stupid crap nobody needs. Like a box of chocolate? Thanks. I’m just getting over my chocolate and sugar issues from the holidays. And all the red and pink everywhere? It’s insulting. I don’t know why, but it is. And let’s not forget about the overpriced, pre-fixed menus at every restaurant. Wait, everybody else hates this holiday too right? It can’t just be me.

Bridget: You know what’s really insulting? Those little candy hearts with words on them that could double as sidewalk chalk. And the fact that there’s an entire isle dedicated to them at CVS for a month. Also, the emails. I didn’t even realize I was subscribed to newsletters from 50 flower delivery websites until February, when I’m getting three emails a day suggesting I “get my order in ASAP.”


And another thing! “Galentine’s” Day. Can I just go out for a drink with my friends who also happen to be females on what happens to be the 14th of February? There’s no such thing as “Guyentine’s” Day. As it turns out, there are a lot of insulting things about this holiday.

Dana: My best friend asked me last night what we were doing for Valentine’s day and my response was “Are you joking? This holiday is a bunch of consumerist bul….”. “Calm down” was her response. And when I asked her what she might do she said “Nothing, Dana [insert mean glare]. I’m single. I might swipe around on Tinder though.”

For real though you guys, spending on Valentine’s Day is approaching 19 billion! 19 billion dollars, with a B! To feel special and sexy and loved?! Uh uh. Not cool.

What if we all decided to lend some of that Valentine’s cheddar out on Kiva instead?

Wouldn’t that be sexy? Imagine the good we could do?

Even just $5 on Kiva can make a big difference in the life of someone in a developing country. So what if we made them our Valentine’s this year instead?

We’ve personally lent about $100 at this point, to Irene and Beatrice in Kenya and Emily in the Philippines. And they’ve almost entirely paid us back. So we can now use that balance to lend out again. It’s glorious. Any small amount will go a long way – you can get started here.

Oh and Happy almost Valentine’s Day, we guess. But not really.


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