We Just Have To Decide

My maid of honor said something in her speech last weekend that really struck a cord. She said “A long time ago Dana decided that she was going to be happy.”


Although that’s what I did, I’d never thought of it like that before. I have to say, it was nice to see it through my best friend’s eyes. It felt good to be recognized for having made the conscious decision to do so, for being held responsible for my own happiness.

I now realize the power in it and as I looked back over the past few years, I realize that I consciously decided to make a lot of other positive changes, too.

I decided:

  • To put the pain of losing my dad behind me
  • To quit smoking
  • To get really good with my money
  • That I was worth taking really good care of myself
  • To lose the twenty pounds
  • That this really is a friendly universe
  • To quit my job and do yoga for a month because, YOLO
  • To start a new business
  • That I like myself

I decided on these things and then I made them happen and it’s empowering to acknowledge those decisions.

But a lot of times we don’t decide, do we? (Myself included.) Sometimes we kinda-sorta say we want things, that they would be nice. Sometimes we give it a try instead. We think about it. We whine. We pray. We consider. We make a vision board or something, but we don’t actually decide.

Because deciding is scary and means that we mean business.

Deciding is a declaration of intention and it leaves us vulnerable, lacking in excuses and responsible for the outcome. It could set us up to look like the world’s largest dope, a failure, an embarrassment, a really big, fat, loser.

So if we never decide, then we’re off the hook. We’re safe from looking like a fool. But, if we never decide, we’ll also never make any changes. We’re really just saying that we agree to give it a shot until … we get tired, or scared, lose money, feel disappointed, embarrassed, uncertain or it gets too hard.

A lot of us want to change things in our lives, be it losing weight, getting rich or being happy. We see others doing these things. We know that they’re physically possible. But we just don’t change. And why not?

I believe that we really can have, do or be anything we want, we just have to decide.



  1. Wow. This is so simple and poignant, it brought tears to my eyes! I relate to this deeply, and am so ready to actually decide I will get the things I want. I am so happy for you that you’ve achieved these things and were courageous enough to make the decision to get them– congratulations on your wedding!

    • Thank you so much! I’m glad this resonated with you. YES! Decide you’ll get them and then go and do it!

  2. I love you, wife 😉

    Now decide that you’re no longer scared of the dark and we’ll be in good shape!

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